Crazy From The Heat.

It's not just the title of David Lee Roth's most successful solo venture - $3.96 on iTunes - it's a legitimate mental state.

Everywhere we look this summer we see signs that summer itself is causing people to act in mysterious and irrational ways.

Why would the friendly state of Arizona close its border to affordable lawn care? What's up with those Russian spies? (We knew there were some suspicious types in our Betty White Facebook group.) Why would the Vatican endorse The Blues Brothers when we know they have a secret yen for Tommy Boy? What but a 100-degree brain-boiling could make a Hollywood liberal like Mel Gibson suddenly turn bigot? Lastly, why is Tony Hayward still running BP's clean-up operation? Shouldn't he be using that cheeky English charm to make soccer-mom hearts race in a romantic fish-out-of-water comedy? (Four Drillings And A Fire? It's Contaminated? Title needs work.)

There can be only one culprit for all this madness:

The Sun - heating things up and making a spectacle of itself all over again.

Yes, the Sun. Bright, well-traveled, unquestionably a star, central to the lives of millions yet oddly aloof - it's the Barack Obama of the sky. Add the reeking excretions both provoke from Rush Limbaugh, and the comparison's nailed.

We're surprised the Sun hasn't faced its own Tea Party movement. Imagine millions of the freckled righteous dumping their tea-bags in the ocean to protest the Sun's redistributionist scheme to spreads its rays to those in need of greater coverage.

Picture the placards ("Not In My Solar System!"; "UV Lyin'!"); the nicknames on Internet discussion forums ("Sun-Of-A-Bitch"); the "body count" of political enemies condemned to their demise by the Big Yellow Socialist who rises in the East, just like every other Ivy League snob.

As fair-skinned non-partisans, we have our own issues with the Sun, but let's remember that the Moon is full of holes and the clouds are for pie-in-the-sky dreamers.

The Editor