Obituary.

Summer 2009 - which ruled the weather patterns and daily activities of the Northern Hemisphere for the last three months - has died. It was three-months-old.

Though its time was brief, its impact was high, and occurrences not without controversy. In fact, the season's demise comes with a touch of irony, as Summer itself was implicated in several noteworthy deaths. Among them: pop star Michael Jackson; political family patriarch Edward Kennedy; actress Farrah Fawcett; infomercial pitchman Billy Mays; Kung Fu actor David Carradine; the hotel attendant who discovered Carradine's body's chances of ever getting a good night's sleep again; the world's oldest man; the runner-up world's oldest man; the world's oldest dog; the Taco Bell dog; early-adopter swine flu victims; scores of flying insects drawn to bug-killing porch-lights; several spring romances initiated in the closing days of school; many drunken flings kindled at beach resorts and outdoor concerts; false hopes of establishing a disciplined exercise routine; similar plans of gaining a convincing white-person tan; suburban wives' unrealistic dreams of intercontinental vacation romance; suburban garage bands' unrealistic dreams of intercontinental YouTube fame; and faith in Iran's recount process.

It is survived by several bright-red bumps around our thighs that refuse to go away.

R.I.P.

The Editor